I always ask myself, "is writing blog a mental sickness?"  I think to most of the people, this is not the case because I usually see them writing down about thoughts and sharing happiness.  Occasionally, it comes across with some struggle, dilemma, or complaints.  But for me, I found that I am sinking into the tend of writing blog because I have no where else to talk about my feelings.  A couple of days ago, one of my friends actually reply on my blog.  It surprised me alot because I have never ever thought somebody out there is reading about my BS.  It is quite touched when someone actually reply on my blog when I am really stranded with stress, although it may not physically helpful. 

Today is April 20th, 15 days to the deadline.  I have made some good progress yesterday yet not enough to get me back on track.  The more I think about the assignments, the more I think it is not making sense for this tight schedule.  To me (I think most of the student), it is not a schedule for part-time study.  I can say it is tight even for full time students.  The worst part is that there is ABSOLUTELY NO CHOICE, and GET YOUR ASS UP and DO IT !!!  It is sad, because this is really synchronizing with everything else to me.  The thing is, well, if you want it, you have to do it.  Alright, I know if I finish this on time with reasonable content.  I will get a reasonable mark which is fair enough.  Then there is nothing to complain and nothing to confront because it is crystal clear on everything.

I haven't play with puzzle for a long time and I can't remember when is the last time I touch a piece of puzzle.  Recently, I come across with a puzzle that I really really fall in love with.  I have never thought that I will have such a strong feeling with this piece of puzzle.  The first day I pick it up, I know it is extremelly difficult to finish it because every piece is very similar but it is not huge.  Well, for some reason I still go ahead to bring it home.  I still don't know if it is a mistake to actually buy it, but I know I really love it.  So, I have the usual believe is that if I have believe I can do it, then I will try my very best to accomplish it.

It is my usual practice that I will spend some time on the puzzle everyday.  I don't spend hours in a roll on it but I will play around with a few pieces every hour or so.  So far, I have enjoyed to play with this puzzle most of the time, because I will be extremely happy everytime I see progress.  I feel so childish and naive.  Well, I thought life is that simple, and it should be that simple.  But since I have it started, there are few occasions that I am not able to carry on from one corner and keep expanding.  Instead, I have to start from the other corner.  Okay, it still seems to work out because I am still able to carry on although some big sections are yet to combine.  But after this has occurred a few times, it starts to look suspicious that to me if this puzzle is actually contained every single piece or not.  The fact is that this puzzle is not brand new, which I have asked the original owner to double check for me.  So far, there have been two times that the original owner has given me the missing pieces.  Is that a joke?  Mmmm... I should have expected when I purchase a used set of puzzle.  But when this happens repeatingly, I am becoming more suspected that I still haven't have every single piece with me. 

It comes to me a question that is it my problem that I still can't trust the original owner or is there still missing piece?  There is already a few time that I have asked the owner for the missing pieces, and I have received some missing from her and she has claimed that there is no more.  But I still don't understand why I can't find the right piece.  I really don't want to confront her again on the missing pieces because she is my very good friend but I really can't find the right piece.  I am pretty sure there are missing pieces, but I can't do anything about it.  It is definitly not a good feeling if you get scam by a very good friend.